Are you ready to try leaning into vulnerability in the relationships that matter to you? This activity is designed to support you over the next two weeks as you take a closer look at how you experience your relationships.
Begin by reflecting on one important relationship in your life. Got it? Now, take a moment to consider the four aspects of “safe enough” relationships — care, responsibility, respect, and commitment. Next, you’ll work through an exercise to try being vulnerable in the relationship that feels safest to you. Research shows that these investments in your personal growth and in your connections are worthwhile.
Grab a piece of paper, your journal, or your laptop or phone, and let’s start.
Part 1: Self reflection
Think about two or three people in your life that feel “safe enough” to share different parts of yourself. Now, select one person and answer the following questions about the “safe enough” ingredients within your connection. You will rate the presence of each ingredient and then journal examples of your experience with this person.
Care
This person leaves me feeling valued, supported, and comforted.
My rating (make a note on your paper or phone): __Rarely __Sometimes __Often __Almost always
Write about a moment that influenced your choice.
Responsibility
This person owns their mistakes and offers genuine apologies when needed.
My rating (make a note on your paper or phone): __Rarely __Sometimes __Often __Almost always
Write about a moment that influenced your choice.
Respect
This person honors my boundaries once I have shared them.
My rating (make a note on your paper or phone): __Rarely __Sometimes __Often __Almost always
Write about a moment that influenced your choice.
Commitment
This person makes it clear that even during challenges, we are still in it together.
My rating (make a note on your paper or phone): __Rarely __Sometimes __Often __Almost always
Write about a moment that influenced your choice.
Part 2: Vulnerability practice
Part 1 may remind you of why this relationship feels “safe enough” for you. Now, let’s try practicing vulnerability with the person whom you feel can see you for yourself.
Write down your responses to these questions:
- What did you learn about how safe this person feels to you? What feels reassuring or worth paying more attention to?
- In your connection with this person, is there a part of yourself that you have been holding back? If so, why might that be? If not, why might that be?
Action steps: As you think about revealing yourself more to this person, what are some small steps you can take when you see them next? For example, you could:
- Share how you are actually feeling when they ask, rather than defaulting to “I’m okay.”
- Tell them one specific thing you appreciate about them that you have never said out loud.
- Ask them for a small favor you would normally handle alone.
- Admit when something they said or did meant a lot to you in the moment it happened.
- Say “I needed that” after a moment of support rather than simply saying “Thank you.”
- Tell them you value the friendship or relationship directly and specifically, rather than assuming they already know.
- Tell them when you are having a hard day before they have to ask.
- Other:
- Other:
As you test out the vulnerability practices above, be sure to journal about your experiences including what you did, how it felt during the practices, and what you noticed afterwards.
Explore all of the Relate pillar’s safety activities:
- Relate-Safety Article: What Makes it Safe Enough to be Seen?
- Relate-Safety Activity 1: Relationship Temperature Check
- Relate-Safety Activity 2: Vulnerability Practice Log
- Relate-Safety Activity 3: Having Safe Enough Conversations
References
- Lynch, J. M., Stange, K. C., Dowrick, C., Getz, L., Meredith, P. J., Van Driel, M. L., Harris, M. G., Tillack, K., & Tapp, C. (2025). The sense of safety theoretical framework: A trauma-informed and healing-oriented approach for whole person care. Frontiers in Psychology, 15, 1441493. https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2024.1441493
- Midford, R., Nutton, G., Hyndman, B., & Silburn, S. (Eds.). (2020). Health and education interdependence: Thriving from birth to adulthood. Springer.
- Syropoulos, S., Leidner, B., Mercado, E., Li, M., Cros, S., Gómez, A., Baka, A., Chekroun, P., &
- Rottman, J. (2024). How safe are we? Introducing the multidimensional model of perceived personal safety. Personality and Individual Differences, 224, 112640. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.paid.2024.112640
- Wylie, M. S., De France, K., & Hollenstein, T. (2022). Adolescents suppress emotional expression more with peers compared to parents and less when they feel close to others. International Journal of Behavioral Development, 47(1), 1–8. https://doi.org/10.1177/01650254221132777
