This is the third in a series of exercises about Healthy Love. If you haven’t already, try exercise 1 about recognizing healthy love in your life, and exercise 2 about what you believe about love. 

Now that you have explored what you believe about love in exercise 2 in this series, you can consider how to grow your skills within your relationships. Remember, practicing healthy ways of love means letting go of popular misconceptions about love and moving toward giving and receiving love that is healthy, empowering, and nurturing.

The following journal prompts can help you explore how to approach patterns within relationships and define steps to grow your skills. You might choose one important relationship in your life and work through the questions below. You can repeat this exercise for other relationships in your life.

Five ways to reflect on a relationship

  1. Balance perspectives: Reflect on a recent disagreement in the relationship. 
  • How well did you understand your partner’s perspective? 
  • Did you feel your perspective was heard?
  • Action step: What’s one way you can approach the next disagreement with more empathy, patience, or curiosity?
  1. Assess the relationship’s health: Reflect on how you think about your relationship. 
  • When you think about your relationship, do you tend to focus more on its strengths or challenges? 
  • How might this perspective affect the quality of your connection?
  • Action step: What’s one way you can create a balanced perspective this week that honors the fullness of your relationship experience? 
  1. Express your needs effectively: Think about a time you expressed your needs in the relationship. 
  • How did you choose to express your need? What was the experience like for you?
  • How did your partner respond? 
  • Action step: Think of one need you have been hesitant to share. Use the DEAR MAN skill <Relate Love Worksheet 1> to communicate it clearly when you’re ready.

  1. Grow resilience in the face of challenges: Reflect on a recent challenge in your relationship. 
  • How did you approach the challenge?
  • How did this approach affect your connection?
  • Action step: What’s one thing you can do to respond more mindfully next time?
  1. Support the connection: Consider a recent moment when you supported your loved one’s goals or growth. 
  • How did it make you feel?
  • To what extent did your effort strengthen your connection?
  • If you can’t find a recent moment, how does the absence of this behavior make you feel?
  • Action step: What’s one way you can show your support this week?

You are not alone

As you reflect on changes you may want to make, remember that this journey doesn’t have to be taken alone. Consider who in your life can stand beside you as you explore these growth-minded approaches to strengthen your relationships and support your mental health and emotional well-being.

Whether it’s a trusted friend, family member, mentor, or community, having support can make all the difference in staying true to your intentions. Celebrate the progress you’ve made so far, and put consistent effort into relationships that uplift and encourage you and your mental health as you continue to grow.

References 

  1. Norona, J. C., Roberson, P. N. E., & Welsh, D. P. (2017). “I Learned Things That Make Me Happy, Things That Bring Me Down”: Lessons From Romantic Relationships in Adolescence and Emerging Adulthood. Journal of Adolescent Research, 32(2), 155-182. https://doi.org/10.1177/0743558415605166
  2. Don, B. P. (2019). Mindfulness predicts growth beliefs and positive outcomes in social relationships. Self and Identity, 19(3), 272–292. https://doi.org/10.1080/15298868.2019.1571526

 

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