Research shows that everyone can experience tough moments when trying to connect with others. At times, you may have disagreements, or experience intense emotions, or feel anxious when the risks of an interaction seem high. 

These challenges can make it harder to connect with another person, even with a loving intention towards a conversation. The good news is that you can strengthen your ability to start, continue, and benefit from meaningful connections by completing this worksheet. Creating authentic connections with others is a key way to support mental health, well-being, and justice for ourselves — and for our communities.

3 Steps to Started

  1. Grab a notebook, tablet, or laptop. 
  2. Pick a prompt. Select a prompt from Step 1, Step 2, and Step 3 and then write for a few minutes in response. Note: You don’t need to complete all of the steps in one sitting. Feel free to focus on a step that resonates with you today and come back to the others later. 
  3. Reflect. Take a few moments to consider what you’ve written. See what you learn about yourself, others, and your community.  

Step 1: Who am I?

  • My thoughts: Write freely about what comes to mind as you reflect on the question “What am I?”
  • My emotions: Identify and describe any emotions you notice as you think about this. For example: joy, pride, frustration, sadness.
  • Physical sensations: Tune into your body. Are you feeling tension, relaxation, or other sensations? Where in your body do you notice these feelings?
  • Action Step: What is one intentional practice or change you can adopt to honor this reflection about yourself?

Step 2: Who am I to you?

  • My thoughts: Reflect on how others might see you. Note what stands out about how their view aligns or differs from your own.
  • My emotions: What feelings come up as you reflect on this? Are you feeling validated, frustrated, or confused?
  • Physical sensations: Notice what’s happening in your body as you reflect. Are you experiencing tightness, warmth, or other sensations?
  • Action Step: What is one step you can take to address or acknowledge these perceptions in your relationships?

Step 3 Worksheet: Who are we to each other?

  • My Thoughts: What stands out to me as I reflect on this question? What connections, patterns, or memories come to mind?
  • My Emotions: What feelings do I notice as I think about my role in or connection to my community? Am I feeling proud, uncertain, hopeful, or something else? Why?
  • My Physical Sensations: What do I notice in my body as I reflect? Do I feel energized, tense, calm, or something else? Where do I notice it?
  • My Experiences: What specific moments or experiences have shaped how I see myself in this community? How have these experiences influenced my understanding of our shared values or misunderstandings?
  • Action Step: What is one small thing I can do to connect better with others in my community?

Closing Reflection

As you wrap up, ask:

  • What did I learn about myself today?
   
  • What support or resources do I need moving forward?
  • What tools, practices, or people could help me process or act on my reflections.
An Extra Step to Deepen Your Reflections

To explore ways to explore your identity, relationships, and community further, read through these additional action prompts. Select one or two that catch your attention, and write for a few minutes in response. Then pause again to reflect on what you’ve written. Ask yourself: 

  • What did I learn? 
  • What do I want to explore next? 
  • What steps can I take to strengthen my relationships in ways that support mental health and well-being for myself and for my community?

Reflective Action Prompts for Step 1: Who am I to me?

  • What aspects of my identity am I most aware of, and why?  
  • How have my identities and cultural background shaped my worldview?  
  • What advantages or difficulties have I experienced because of who I am?
  • How has the way I see myself changed as I’ve grown, and why?  
  • When have I felt proud of my identity, and when have I felt constrained by it?  

Reflective Action Prompts for Step 2: Who am I to you?

  • How do I think others perceive my identity, and how does this differ from how I see myself?  
  • When have I felt misunderstood because of my identity, and how did I respond?  
  • What do I think I communicate to others about my values and identity?  
  • How do I feel when someone tells me how I make them feel?  
  • How do I react when someone disagrees with me or shows me a new way of thinking?  

Reflective Action Prompts for Step 3: Who are we to each other?

  • What shared values or experiences do I notice in my community? How do they shape my connection to it?
  • How do I contribute to my community’s strengths or struggles? How does that shape my connection to it?
  • What differences or challenges do I notice between groups in my community? How do they affect me?
  • When have I felt most connected to my community? What made that moment meaningful?
  • What does an inclusive and respectful community mean to me? How do I contribute to that vision?

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    My Digital Sanctuary brings information and creativity together to support soul care, a holistic approach to emotional, physical and spiritual well-being from the Steve Fund. Created by mental health experts who specialize in serving young people of color and their families, My Digital Sanctuary shares the help, hope, and healing we need not just to survive but to thrive.