Identifying Values that Can Guide Your Way

“Let nothing dim the light that shines within.” -Maya Angelou

The source of light and life inside you can be described as your “center.” This space can hold your values and the inner voice that shapes your life’s journey. Values, as described in Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, are important guides that can help you embrace a healthy and balanced life. 

When you identify your values, you can align your decisions with the most central parts of yourself. Exploring and clarifying your values has been shown to boost your mental health and emotional well-being. This process can also be a useful tool for guiding your relationship choices.

Studies show that resilience, which is your ability to bounce back from adversity, can increase as you live according to your values. “Valued living” means responding to each day by making choices that align with your values as much as possible. 

For example, if you value:

• Sustainability, you may set time aside to rest and recharge each day
• A sense of purpose, you may measure your options for activities based on how connected they feel to your goals 
• Being present in your relationships, you may take a phone break each day to show up fully for those you love 

Valued living has been shown to reduce symptoms of depression and anxiety, and even chronic pain. It has also been connected to increased resilience after stressful life events. Living in alignment with your values is beneficial to your well-being.

Four steps to help you live your values

Here are steps you can take to identify values that align with your beliefs, hopes, and goals. 

Step 1: Explore common values.

The physician, psychotherapist, and author Russ Harris defines values as “your heart’s deepest desire for how you want to behave as a human being.” In his work, Dr. Harris brought together hundreds of values. Go to the end of this article, or open this PDF document to read through a list of the most common values. Note the values that align with yours and type them on your phone or write them on a piece of paper. 

Step 2: Select three values that matter most to you.

You can narrow your list by asking yourself: 

1. How do I want to act towards myself and others?
2. What kinds of moments bring the most light into my life?

After you reflect on your list, document values you most identify with. 

Step 3: Identify how closely you align with those values.

For each of the values you selected, spend a few minutes thinking about your life over the past week. Try to pinpoint moments where these values may have influenced your behavior. For example, you may remember a moment where you had to make a difficult choice. How did your values show up to help you make a decision? 

Add these reflections and rankings to what you’ve already written:

1. Write your thoughts after each of the values you selected. For example:
   Value 1: ____________________ Moment I applied the value in my life:
   Value 2: ____________________ Moment I applied the value in my life:
   Value 3: ____________________ Moment I applied the value in my life:
2. Then, rank how much, overall, you have lived these values in the last week. Write down a value you selected and note “always,” “often,” or “sometimes. For example:
   Value 1: ____________________ Always, Often or Sometimes
   Value 2: ____________________ Always, Often or Sometimes
   Value 3: ____________________ Always, Often or Sometimes

Step 4: Choose action steps to increase your valued living

For values that you ranked lower (“often” or “sometimes”) in the last week, choose action steps that can help you use those values. For example, you may consider:

• Why is this value important to you? 
• What barriers seem to get in the way of this value? 

As you reflect, you may identify small steps towards living each value. Consider support you may need and what success might look like. Be sure to write your answers down and use them to hold yourself accountable as you make efforts to invest in your well-being. 

To experience the full benefits of this worksheet, keep track of your reflections and return to them every week. Studies show that accessible values lead to more valued living each day, and make a difference over time. 

For Step 1: A list of common values

1. Acceptance: to be open to and accepting of myself, others, life etc 
2. Adventure: to be adventurous; to actively seek, create, or explore novel or stimulating experiences 
3. Assertiveness: to respectfully stand up for my rights and request what I want 
4. Authenticity: to be authentic, genuine, real; to be true to myself 
5. Beauty: to appreciate, create, nurture or cultivate beauty in myself, others, the environment etc 
6. Caring: to be caring towards myself, others, the environment etc 
7. Challenge: to keep challenging myself to grow, learn, improve 
8. Compassion: to act with kindness towards those who are suffering 
9. Connection: to engage fully in whatever I am doing, and be fully present with others 
10. Contribution: to contribute, help, assist, or make a positive difference to myself or others 
11. Conformity: to be respectful of and obedient to rules and obligations 
12. Cooperation: to be cooperative and collaborative with others 
13. Courage: to be courageous or brave; to persist in the face of fear, threat, or difficulty 
14. Creativity: to be creative or innovative 
15. Curiosity: to be curious, open-minded and interested; to explore and discover 
16. Encouragement: to encourage and reward behavior that I value in myself or others 
17. Equality: to treat others as equal to myself, and vice-versa 
18. Excitement: to seek, create and engage in activities that are exciting, stimulating or thrilling 
19. Fairness: to be fair to myself or others 
20. Fitness: to maintain or improve my fitness; to look after my physical and mental health and wellbeing 
21. Flexibility: to adjust and adapt readily to changing circumstances 
22. Freedom: to live freely; to choose how I live and behave, or help others do likewise 
23. Friendliness: to be friendly, companionable, or agreeable towards others 
24. Forgiveness: to be forgiving towards myself or others 
25. Fun: to be fun-loving; to seek, create, and engage in fun-filled activities 
26. Generosity: to be generous, sharing and giving, to myself or others 
27. Gratitude: to be grateful for and appreciative of the positive aspects of myself, others and life 
28. Honesty: to be honest, truthful, and sincere with myself and others 
29. Humor: to see and appreciate the humorous side of life 
30. Humility: to be humble or modest; to let my achievements speak for themselves 
31. Industry: to be industrious, hardworking, dedicated 
32. Independence: to be self-supportive, and choose my own way of doing things 
33. Intimacy: to open up, reveal, and share myself — emotionally or physically — in my close personal relationships 
34. Justice: to uphold justice and fairness 
35. Kindness: to be kind, compassionate, considerate, nurturing or caring towards myself or others 
36. Love: to act lovingly or affectionately towards myself or others 
37. Mindfulness: to be conscious of, open to, and curious about my here-and-now experience 38. Order: to be orderly and organized 
38. Open-mindedness: to think things through, see things from others’ points of view, and weigh evidence fairly. 
39. Patience: to wait calmly for what I want 
40. Persistence: to continue resolutely, despite problems or difficulties. 
41. Pleasure: to create and give pleasure to myself or others 
42. Power: to strongly influence or wield authority over others, e.g. taking charge, leading, organizing 
43. Reciprocity: to build relationships in which there is a fair balance of giving and taking 
44. Respect: to be respectful towards myself or others; to be polite, considerate and show positive regard 4
45. Responsibility: to be responsible and accountable for my actions 
46. Romance: to be romantic; to display and express love or strong affection 
47. Safety: to secure, protect, or ensure safety of myself or others 
48. Self-awareness: to be aware of my own thoughts, feelings and actions 
49. Self-care: to look after my health and wellbeing, and get my needs met 
50. Self-development: to keep growing, advancing or improving in knowledge, skills, character, or life experience. 
51. Self-control: to act in accordance with my own ideals 
52. Sensuality: to create, explore and enjoy experiences that stimulate the five senses 
53. Sexuality: to explore or express my sexuality 
54. Spirituality: to connect with things bigger than myself 
55. Skillfulness: to continually practice and improve my skills, and apply myself fully when using them 
56. Supportiveness: to be supportive, helpful, encouraging, and available to myself or others 
57. Trust: to be trustworthy; to be loyal, faithful, sincere, and reliable 
58. Insert your own unlisted value here: 
59. Insert your own unlisted value here:

Copyright Russ Harris, 2010, actmindfully.com.au    

References:

1. Ceary CD, Donahue JJ, & Shaffer K. (2019) “The strength of pursuing your values: Valued living as a path to resilience among college students.” Stress and Health. 35: 532–541. https://doi.org/10.1002/smi.2886 
2. Tunç, H., Morris, P. G., Kyranides, M. N., McArdle, A., McConachie, D., & Williams, J. (2023). “The relationships between valued living and depression and anxiety: A systematic review, meta-analysis, and meta-regression.” Journal of Contextual Behavioral Science, 28, 102–126. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jcbs.2023.02.004
3. Matheus Rahal, G., & Caserta Gon, M. C. (2020). “A systematic review of values interventions in Acceptance and Commitment Therapy.” International Journal of Psychology & Psychological Therapy, 20(3), 355–372.