As a parent or caregiver, intentionally addressing challenges can make a real difference in your life while also setting an example for your child or student. Thankfully, you don’t have to get things 100% right. Your co-parent and young person just need to know you’re making progress — for you and them. 

One way of finding support for mental health and well-being challenges is to examine what are called risk, predictive, and protective factors. Dr. Carl Bell famously said, “Risk factors are not predictive factors because of protective factors.” Another way of saying this is, if we put protections in place, a person who experiences trauma or other hurtful circumstances is less likely to have a bad result. Let’s break it down further.

What are protective factors?

Protective factors are characteristics that help to reduce the likelihood of a negative outcome when a person is exposed to risk factors. Being deliberate in applying protective factors can help safeguard the mental health of the young people you care about, and that includes safeguarding your own emotional well-being.

The Links Between Stress and Growth

Experiencing stress is an inevitable part of growth, and learning how to prioritize and balance multiple demands is an essential part of growing into a healthy adult. This is easier said than done, though. It takes skill to know how to prioritize effectively and not get overwhelmed when faced with a lot of work, tasks, or challenges.

Problem-Solving Skills

The ability to think creatively and critically is key when challenges arise. This is a critical element for success in adulthood. From new opportunities in school to balancing family commitments and developing relationships, your student is likely experiencing daily situations that require them to evaluate their values and priorities — and take action to meet their goals. Having the flexibility to shift their priorities as new information or tasks arise is also crucial.

Let’s think about a real-life example: It’s the week before exams and your child or student has called you saying they feel overwhelmed. In addition to exams, your child or student also has two papers and a project to complete. Physically, they’re feeling exhausted from pulling all-nighters. Emotionally, they’re feeling stressed about a disagreement with a friend, and socially they’ve been feeling more isolated. “I’m so stressed out. I don’t know what to do first!”

5 Steps to Solving Challenges

When parents and caregivers feel overwhelmed, it can be hard to know where to start. Here are five tips to help you and your student reduce overwhelm and navigate complex challenges.

Step 1: Brain dump. Pull out a sheet of paper and write down all of the things that are causing stress. It doesn’t have to be in any particular order; just write each thing down as it comes to mind. The simple act of getting stressful thoughts out of your mind and onto paper can go a long way to helping you move toward clarity. 

Step 2: Take a step back. Pause and think about your overall values and goals by asking yourself a few questions:

  1. What is most important to me right now, in the short term?
  2. What is most important to me in the long term?
  3. How much time do I have to tackle this challenge?
  4. What value is there in taking on the challenge? Is it worth the time and effort?
  5. Can I get help from others?
  6. Are there resources available?

Step 3: Break things down. Taking the “Brain Dump” list you created, use a tool such as the Eisenhower Matrix to help break your list down into four categories: 

  1. Urgent and Important (Do It)
  2. Urgent and Not Important (Delegate it)
  3. Important and Not Urgent (Schedule It)
  4. Not Important and Not Urgent (Delete It).

Step 4: Plan it out. Create a plan to take action on the “Urgent & Important” tasks. Pace yourself and be prepared to readjust as new tasks come in. 

Step 5: Seek help where needed. This may look like scheduling a tutoring session or organizing a study group to prepare for an exam. It’s important to recognize that emotions can also be “Urgent & Important.” Sometimes, an emotional experience can be so distressing that it becomes hard to focus on anything else. In this case, getting support is essential and may look like talking with a loved one or scheduling a counseling session to discuss relationship concerns or feelings of isolation.

The Takeaway

Challenges are an inevitable part of life. As young people mature and enter adulthood, the challenges they face only become more complex. Problem-solving skills are important protective factors that can help reduce negative outcomes by helping young people navigate challenges effectively.