We all need to feel that we have a say in the direction of our lives and to live in ways that reflect our personal values and goals. Periods of uncertainty, traumatic events, and experiences of loss or injustice can threaten our sense of control and our ability to feel in charge of our lives. These experiences can trigger feelings of hopelessness (a feeling of despair that things won’t get better) and helplessness (feeling a lack of power to change a situation). Without support, these feelings can impact mental health and emotional well-being.

Understanding well-being and control

One way to understand why uncertainty and hardship affect us so deeply is through the idea of locus of control. This concept refers to the extent to which a person believes that they can influence what happens to them as opposed to external circumstances. For example:

  • People who are oriented toward an internal locus of control tend to believe that their actions and abilities determine the outcome of the situations they face. 
  • People oriented toward an external locus of control tend to believe that forces outside of their control (such as chance or the actions of others) ultimately determine what happens to them. Internal locus of control can be thought of as a positive self-belief. 

Although every person has some aspects of both internal and external locus of control, research shows that people with a greater sense of internal locus of control are more successful in life, experience greater happiness, and are healthier than those who hold a sense of external locus of control.  

The power of learning in action

Personal agency takes the positive self-belief of internal locus of control and puts it into action. It is a broader concept that refers to an individual’s ability to be intentional, to make choices, and to take actions that influence the outcomes in their life. 

Having a sense of internal locus of control and personal agency is directly linked to a sense of empowerment, self-efficacy, and resilience. In other words, it means approaching your life with this perspective: 

“I may not be able to control every circumstance that I encounter, but I do have control over how I choose to think, feel, and respond to what happens. In every situation I face, what I think and what I do makes a difference to the outcome. So, today I intentionally choose thoughts, feelings, and actions that are helpful and not harmful.”   

Four ways to face uncertain times

It is an unfortunate reality that many young people are facing a world rife with uncertainty and instability. WIth so many forces beyond their power, it is important to focus on the factors that are within their control. What are some ways that we can do this? 

1. Engage in empowering conversations

Actively engage in conversations that help your young person recognize and develop their sense of internal locus of control. You can do this in small ways every day. For example:

  • Compliment the way they handled a frustrating situation with healthy coping skills rather than with anger. For example: Going for a walk, talking about their feelings, or writing in their journal.
  • Make a list on sticky notes or a poster in two columns: 1) “Things I can control” and 2) “Things I can’t control.”
  • Tell them that you know they are capable of achieving whatever they set their mind to and take action to achieve.

2. Emphasize their sense of choice

Emphasize that in every situation young people encounter, they have a choice, and we should encourage them to exercise it. However, recognize that in some situations, exercising choice may be limited, but even so, a young person’s ability to make a choice is still powerful. 

3. Encourage their voice

Focus on encouraging your young person to build their voice. Your young person’s ability to take action relies on their ability to use their voice and to believe their voice can make a difference. Give them suggestions on how to achieve this:

  • Use poetry and other creative writing to share their feelings and ideas with others.
  • Speak up in class and in conversation with others about the issues that are important to them.
  • Advocate for people who are unable to advocate for themselves.

4. Support them as they make a difference

Empower your young person to use their choices and voice responsibly to make a positive difference in the lives of others and in society. Help them to ground themselves in a sense of purpose tied to the greater good of their community. For example:

  • Anchor their understanding of present-day struggles in the context of historical struggles for liberation and equality.
  • Draw connections between the work of their ancestors and the work before them today.
  • Emphasize and teach collectivist values such as interdependence, mutual support, and social justice that are at the heart of many cultures.

Learn more and download our Voice & Choice Guides and Workbooks

  1. Voice & Choice Mini Workbook. Support your family by focusing on what’s in your control, strengthening decision-making skills, and gaining confidence to shape their own future.
  2. Built to Thrive Full Workbook. The Voice & Choice mini workbook is part of Built to Thrive, an interactive workbook created by The Steve Fund.
  3. Safe & Seen: Building Secure and Trusting Relationships Guide. Explore ways to help your young person develop strong, positive bonds with others and learn ways to model these practices yourself.

Explore all THRIVE toolkits:

References

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