The National Bullying Prevention Center states that “bullying is when someone aggressively uses their ‘power’ to target another individual with repeated, unwanted words or actions, hurting them physically and/or emotionally.”

Almost 20 percent of students ages 12-18 reported being bullied at school during the 2021-2022 school year according to the National Center for Education Statistics. The bullying that young people experience comes in many forms, and because it typically takes place out of sight of adults, it can be hard to identify. 

How does bullying impact a young person’s mental health and well-being?

A 2022 study of young people’s perspectives on social media and mental health and well-being discussed research about cyberbullying, noting that it can be particularly intense and damaging due to its anonymous and repetitive nature. For parents and caregivers, it is important to understand how bullying impacts a young person’s mental health, as this article from Deconstructing Stigma explores.

How parents can help

Talking with your young person about bullying can start with asking them to have a conversation. As you create a space for your young person to share their experience without judgment, it can be helpful to understand the types of bullying behaviors, which can come in many forms and expressions, including:

  • Physical bullying: The use of physical intimidation, threat, harassment, and/or harm.
  • Tangible or material bullying: The use of formal power (like title or position) or material leverage (such as financial, informational, or legal) as forms of intimidation, threat, harassment, and/or harm.
  • Verbal bullying: The use of threats, shaming, teasing, insults, judgment, and criticism, as well as racist, sexist, or homophobic language.
  • Cyberbullying: The use of social media, texting, video, email, online discussion, and other digital formats as a means to bully.
  • Passive-aggressive or covert bullying: The use of gossip, joking at someone’s expense, sarcasm, condescending eye contact, facial expression or gestures, mimicking, ridicule, deliberately causing embarrassment and insecurity, social exclusion, professional isolation, and deliberately sabotaging someone’s well-being, happiness, and success.

As you have conversations, you can help young people see that they have agency in their lives. Having agency simply means to use the capacity to act independently and to make choices. This awareness of their own agency is a key part of standing up for themselves against bullying. Taking action is an important protective factor that supports overall mental health and emotional well-being.

Six ways to stand up to bullying in real time

Consider exploring these strategies with your young person:

  1. Control your initial reaction by using deep breathing and grounding exercises.
  2. Control your response by recognizing that you have choices. 
  3. Use active ignoring. Don’t give bullies what they want, which is to see you upset, worried, or frustrated. 
  4. Don’t respond to bullying or threatening messages online. Engaging can make the situation worse and may even get you into trouble if your responses are viewed as threatening. 
  5. Seek help from a trusted adult. This is absolutely essential in any situation involving physical bullying, but is just as crucial if the experience of bullying is leading to thoughts of self-harm or suicide.
  6. Check out Mental Health America’s What to Do If I’m Bullied factsheet for more information.   

The Takeaway

Unfortunately, bullying is common. However, parents and caregivers can equip young people with a powerful set of tools to stand up for themselves and against bullies. These include a strong sense of agency, the belief in their own self-worth, the knowledge that they are not alone, and the understanding that reaching out for help is a sign of strength, not weakness.

Anti-Bullying Resources

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