As a parent or caregiver, you are not alone if you feel extra pressure during the holidays and other times when your family gathers. The complex mix of responsibilities you may be juggling can become even more intense during the holiday season.

Holidays, gatherings, and family stress: Do you experience…? 

  • Concerns about your young person’s well-being: You might be acutely aware of how the holidays impact the children in your care, adding another layer of concern.
  • Work stress: The end of the year or semester can bring deadlines and demands that add to your already full plate.
  • Social obligations: Parties, gatherings, and events can quickly fill your calendar, and can sometimes feel more like tasks than opportunities for enjoyment.
  • Pressures to overspend: Advertising and societal norms can create intense pressure to buy expensive gifts or host elaborate celebrations, leading to financial strain.
  • Managing others’ expectations: Family, friends, and even children may have specific ideas about how holidays or gatherings “should” be, leaving you feeling responsible for fulfilling them all.
  • Complex family dynamics: For some, family gatherings can be a source of tension rather than warmth, requiring extra emotional labor to navigate.
  • Grief, loss, and loneliness: A festive atmosphere can amplify feelings of absence or isolation, especially if you’ve experienced loss.
  • Guilt and self-doubt: When you feel you’re not meeting every expectation or creating the perfect holiday, guilt can easily creep in.
  • Emotional exhaustion and burnout: The cumulative effect of these pressures can leave you feeling physically and emotionally drained.

8 tips to minimize stress and embrace well-being

Recognizing these stressors is an important first step. Next, take proactive steps to protect your peace of mind. Here are practical strategies to help you navigate gatherings and holidays: 

  1. Pace yourself. You don’t have to do everything. Break down tasks into smaller steps. Delegate when possible and build in downtime. 
  2. Set healthy expectations. Let go of the illusion of a “perfect” holiday or gathering. Focus instead on creating authentic connections and genuine joy, not the ideal image for a social media post. 
  3. Stay flexible. It’s okay if things don’t go exactly as planned. Keep in mind that sometimes the best memories come from moments that are unscripted. 
  4. Prioritize sleep, healthy eating, and exercise. These healthy habits are essential for maintaining your energy and resilience. Consider integrating them into your holiday plans as “non-negotiables.” 
  5. Set spending limits. Decide on a realistic budget and stick to it. Remember that the most special gifts — experiences, heartfelt gestures, and quality time — don’t have a price. 
  6. Make space for uncomfortable emotions. The holidays can stir up feelings. It can be tempting to push feelings of sadness, frustration, and grief away at a time when you feel you “should” be happy. Allow yourself to feel what you feel without judgment. Talking to a trusted friend or therapist, journaling, or simply giving yourself quiet time can be stabilizing.
  7. Use social media in healthy ways. Try to stay mindful of how online content impacts your mood. If scrolling leaves you feeling inadequate and comparing your life to the “perfect” moments, take a break. Remember, social media content is often an idealized version of reality. Focus instead on real-life connections and what brings you joy.
  8. Use mindfulness to stay in the moment. If your mind races with worries about the past or future, gently bring yourself back to the present. Simple practices like focusing on your breath or savoring a warm cup of tea or cider can help bring you back to the present moment and reduce feelings of being overwhelmed. 

The Takeaway

Whether you’re gathering with family or friends for a holiday or special event, caring for yourself isn’t selfish — it’s essential. By giving yourself permission to slow down, set boundaries, and honor your needs, you’re not only fostering your own well-being but you are also modeling healthy patterns of self-care for your young person.

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