As you consider your role as a parent or caregiver of a college student, the distinction between “honoring” and “acknowledging” your student’s newfound independence is subtle but important. What’s the difference?

  • Acknowledging your young person’s independence means you recognize they are no longer a child. This is generally a passive process that involves accepting they have a life and schedule of their own. They may have new habits and opinions that differ from yours, and they are becoming capable of making their own decisions. 
  • Honoring their independence goes a step further. Showing respect for their growth can demonstrate that you see, accept, and support your student’s autonomy. For young adults, the development of autonomy is a key protective factor for their mental health and emotional well-being, and can include: 
    • Growing in their ability to establish themselves as an individual
    • Making their own decisions
    • Managing their life according to their personal values rather than being controlled by others 

See your child for who they are becoming

When students come home for the holidays or other family gatherings, parents, and caregivers can honor their autonomy and independence by: 

  • Demonstrating trust
  • Supporting their new decisions and habits (even if you don’t understand them)
  • Creating an environment in which they feel welcomed, respected and able to continue to grow 

Two examples: 

  1. You can honor your student’s changes in diet (such as becoming vegan, by including vegan options at family meals). 
  2. Or you can honor changes in their sleep schedule by giving them space to rest and set their own schedule without judgment. 

Whatever this will look like with your child, your actions to honor who they are becoming can reinforce confidence in their decision-making skills and growth towards self-determination. Your support can also boost their self-esteem by validating their identity and personal growth. 

The Takeway

While acknowledging involves accepting that your student is now an independent adult, honoring their independence means acting in ways that empower them and facilitates further autonomy. This is a crucial step in their transition to healthy adulthood and to navigating the world with confidence.

Additional Resources

Help us improve the Family Corner

    How likely are you to apply something you learned from this article or resource?

    Would you recommend this article or resource to someone else?

    What topics would you like to hear more about?

    Other topics

    Your email

    Age

    Zip code